I have no true ways of discerning any truths nor falsehoods. You may argue that there are no such things, to which I would of course reply that you were right (an oxymoronic statement in itself) but also add in that I meant "perceived" truths or falsehoods. I just feel that those people who walk around with conviction in their hearts don't really know what it's like to go around with insecurity in their hearts, instead. Look, I don't mean to make this into some whiny-oh-woe-is-me-post, I just mean insecurity towards being convinced of, for example, a concept or an idea. I have no real way of hand-picking the things I find agreeable and then claiming them to be absolute. Hell, even largely proven theories quake under the loose footing that is my mental game board. I can discuss things like gravity or the atmosphere and get a little vague around the edges when countered by some pseudo-scientifical theory, or get assailed with obscure conspiracy theories and still find some essence of truth in their words, so much that I start to doubt my own predisposition. I have yet to decide whether this is a healthy behavior or if it comes with a certain lack of character. Mind you, it is not because I cannot find proper arguments to counter with (literally swarms of them pop up into my head if I'm discussing something I'm familiar with) but it's rather the conviction behind the other person's arguments that makes me wobble. I wish I could turn it off, become ignorant for a second and just blurt on without caring how much I bulldozer'd the other person. I really wish I could do that, sometimes, because people sometimes get the wrong idea and need to be corrected. So do I, of course. But I wish I could just voice a statement without piece by piece taking it back with small nods and "huh"-s and "Hm, maybe maybe, who knows?" when I feel like they've still got the wrong idea, or an incomplete sense of it.
It feels like I'm glorifying my own perception here, but I won't deny that I (from what I can tell) seem like a very perceptive person who easily spots flaws and fascinating concepts without much effort, so long as it's within the boundaries of my interests. I'm trying to be done with being insecure about my own abilities, and just be realistic. However, I cannot stop being insecure about my viewpoints. Because, well, it's easy to be when you realize how flawed our perception and understanding of things are, and exactly how many misunderstandings and lazy assumptions we as a race base our so-called "knowledge" on. And this is not a critique against science, just a critique towards how the everyday person filters and uses information. We can't be blamed, of course, but it does not make it the less sad, seeing as how we can imagine being at a greater state of understanding than we are. The grass is greener, etc.
Mweh, I rant about nothing in particular. Was a while since I actually used this here journal, figured I'd go a little more "me" with it.